So...

So again the day is approaching where I will disappear for a while. 

Lately I'm a little more alive but I still feel a void inside that is growing, I patch it with everything I can but it's like a "Dune worm" a giant worm that is able to eat anything in its path.

Plus, I feel more and more pain accompanying all this. I did what I had to do to merge everything in me, but something is still missing. That one piece of my puzzle is still missing.

And with every next minute comes another thought that disturbs the whole order in my head, heavily damaged by time.

Songs are playing in the headphones with words that allow me to keep a little calm, but it's still not enough... 

Smoking a cigarette and seeing the smoke rising, while drinking whiskey energy drinks, tears often come to my eyes on their own, but shortly after they are absorbed again, as if despite the pain I feel every day, something is still blocking me.

I still miss her like hell, I still wait, I still wonder what if... The worst part of it all is that I feel something very bad is going to happen...

And I have no idea what it is, but this overwhelming fear is starting to paralyze me and I can't think of anything else, which is driving me crazy.

I wish I could come back to a place where it all disappears for a while, and there's only one with only one person inside that makes me do everything...

"Right now

Never want to leave this place

And right now see it in a different way

So right now even if you take me on

I'll stand, the lonely

Stand, the lonely

It's harder to know just where to go

If only the stars aligned the sunsets glowed

I don't need a calm in a storm

Or something to scream about with empty lungs

So I'll break it knowing what you said

The pain is what you make it sadly you are so mistaken

I will take you with a grain and step into the changes

Throw away the empty heart"

DaTa** out..