Soo, here we go again...

Hehe, the last few days are interesting, I help my father at work.

Because I'm a little worried about him, walking on roofs and ladders at his age is no longer good, he gets tired quickly.

In the evenings I am haunted by demons as usual, which surprisingly this time they just look at me, they don't attack as if something is about to happen...

I wonder about all this, I feel terrible, daily headaches, muscle pain in the heart area, nerves ... And I have the impression that I am slowly getting colder ... I would like to be wrong, but everything indicates that it will probably be better this way ... Time will tell yet.

I miss her like hell...

But sometimes I have very strange thoughts about it... Thoughts that destroy everything...

On the one hand, I know something, and on the other, I analyze too much, calculate, add some behaviors that speak for themselves and despite some result, something still doesn't add up. As if there's a bug somewhere that I don't know about...

And again I have this strange feeling of emptiness, emptiness that fills me whole...

"I can't go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces

This is my last resort

Suffocation, no breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

Would it be wrong, would it be right

If I took my life tonight?

Chances are that I might

Mutilation out of sight

And I'm contemplating suicide"

DaTa** out.