where do i go

i just kinda feel like something died in me today

like someone said move on again

like everyone's saying move on

but the thing is i don't even know what does this shit mean

what move on means

like

forget about all you've had

change all your plans

try not to think about anything you've had since now

don't blame yourself you're good enough, you're too good for that

maybe i'm not the good one actually

and i have no idea how to move on

'cause I could get up tommorow morning take a shower and go running or whatever

I could play games all day or go to people and get drunk

I could read a book and go for a walk and talk to you like nothing have happened

but IT IS NOT moving on

it's just turning off the humanity switch

and it doesn't go that way

you can't just turn it off

because once you've had a taste of happiness

taste of pure life with all of life can give you

once everything started to make altogether

you can't just pretend that everything's ok

it's not fair, it's cheating yourself

why would it be allright now?

once again, i could do that

but i really don't want to forget

i don't want to feel like i do now

but i want to keep it in me

could leave all this shit, go to uk or stay here and focus on all these things what i have to do but i'm not doing right now

but that was my life

and i don't want another one even if it turns out better than this

i don't want to switch it off

forgetting is not the thing

understanding is

but i can't understand this