the day I remembered you.

Sometimes you have to go through your whole life in order to realise what is missing. 

I somehow realised today. 

Somehow... I did go through majority of my life and I realised.

I realised a lot of things actually.

Through the years we change, we shape, we change paradimes and directions. Not once, not twice. Simultanuesly. Constantly, minute by minute, experience after experience. Because life is constant. It never stops happening, it never stops being, or living. It is there. Always. And we, just a mass of energy shape accordingly. 

I realised how much I changed and shaped. As a human being, as a girl, as a woman, as a friend, as a daughter, partner, dancer.

Yeah, labels.

As a human being. I think after all those years one thing I can say is that I am very sceptical about labels. In today's world, where nothing is for sure, absolutely nothing is certain we can finally drop labels. I am a human being. A human being that sometimes find herself in a role of a girl, sometimes a partner, other time a daughter or a dance. One doesnt limit itself to just one but also doesnt interfere with one another. 

SO as a human being that I am today, I realised what got lost in translation. 

Me.

My energy, my aura, something about me that was so lifeloving, so life-appreciating. 

Funny. Despite my all time opinion about technologies being a waste of time, I was only able to realise that reading the blog I used to write all those years back. 

No matter what you think life will show you otherwise. 

Anyway, so that blog used to be something like my diary, just an electronic version. Probably because I am too lazy to actually hand-write one, who knows. It is still there, saved and forgotten in some virtual space. Nothing could have made me happier to be honest. To be able to read your own 'diary', day by day, page by page (kept for quite a few years). Makes you really see the progess you have made as a human being. Your character, appearance, personality.. You can observe what was actually happening during those most crucial years...

So I used to be fun. I used to be light. I used to be full of positive energy. I used to be happy, day by day, everyday. Even when I wasn't. I was pretty sad too. 

Yeap. That's me. The most contradicting person ever. 

And then I stopped. Little by little, I was writing less and less. There was less sun, less light, less energy and happiness. And dont get me wrong, I think of myself as of a very happy and lucky person...But something was missing. 

There was a need. An urge to voice myself again. 

How did I not see it? I dont know.

I missed the signs.

I used to always say, FOLLOW THE SIGNS. 

So, from now on I am on a mission to bring that sun back. That immerse positive energy, love and light back into me. 

Maybe writing will help.

Maybe not,

Who knows?

You never know until you try.

So I try. 

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And in the meantime I am working on re-igniting the spark inside. That very little special something I used to like so much.

Because I am, I am breathing, i am listening, talking, meeting new and not so new people, because life is an exchange of energy, because I am hardworking, because I have passion, because I am healthy, because I am fit, because I love, because my heart has found its home, because I have incredible family and friends, because I am loved, because I appreciate and am appreciated, because I laugh, because the sun rises and sets, because its full moon, because I do not lack anything, because I dance, because I am not hungry.

I am the opportunity I am awaiting. 

And for now,

Keep smiling! ;)