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( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Char 0x0 out of allowed range in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Premature end of data in tag LatitudeReference line 1 in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Premature end of data in tag document line 1 in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.367918564984Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.367918565032Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.370318566856Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.370418567896Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.370418567680Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.370818609232Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.370918610080simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Char 0x0 out of allowed range in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Premature end of data in tag LatitudeReference line 1 in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): Entity: line 1: parser error : Premature end of data in tag document line 1 in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><document><LatitudeReference>N in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

( ! ) Warning: simplexml_load_string(): ^ in /home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/code/Fbl/Core/Helper/Array.php on line 142
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0047505968{main}( ).../show.php:0
20.05615622968include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/show2.php' ).../show.php:114
30.189912199216require( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/layouts/blog/clean/main.phtml' ).../show2.php:815
40.271917008320include( '/home/httpd/photoblog.pl/app/modules/blog/controllers/main_controller.php' ).../main.phtml:94
50.449519006032Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->loadByFileId( ).../main_controller.php:207
60.449519006080Fbl_Core_Model_Abstract->load( ).../Note.php:64
70.451719008208Fbl_Blog_Model_Note->_afterLoad( ).../Abstract.php:268
80.451919009248Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->setData( ).../Note.php:162
90.451919009032Fbl_Blog_Model_PhotoExif->_extractParameters( ).../PhotoExif.php:178
100.451919009032Fbl_Core_Helper_Array::fromXML( ).../PhotoExif.php:192
110.451919009880simplexml_load_string ( ).../Array.php:142

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa

Milion lat mnie tu nie było🙈🙉🙊

Czym mogę być tak zajęta? Chyba życiem.

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Tańczę na pograniczu. Jak długo? Dlaczego akurat ja?

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
25.

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Jek czegoś pragniesz to kup to sobie:)

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Księżniczki.

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Nie na chwilę, nie na próbę. Na zawsze:*

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Nienawidzę świat. Tego syfu i udawanej życzliwości. Haha. Gowno

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Przestało krzyczeć. Bestia w środku mnie. Nie tęsknię.

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Wpadać z jednej skrajności w drugą, to tylko ja potrafię. Moja ulubiona pora roku. Kiedy wszystko można zrzucić na pogodę.

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Energiaaa! Tak jej dużo, tak pięknie pachnie tak kocham jesień;) jeszcze kilka dni i znów będę latać w chmurach:)

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa
Nikt nie jest mną. Nikt nigdy mną nie będzie. Czy kiedyś się poddam? Czy odpuszczę? Obiecałam sobie, że w pewne miejsce wrócę, miejsce które kocham zwłaszcza jesienią. Nasze rozstania zawsze są ciężkie...

dusza

 dusza

Prędzej czy później świat się dowie. Podchodziła do tego milion razy. Próbuję się nie wstydzić swojej choroby. Chociaż większość z was widzi tylko smutek i lenistwo, my "inni" mam w głowie smutek, niechęć do życia, widzimy sami w sobie beznadziejność, mamy wstret sami do siebie, samoocena zerowa, izolujemy się. Mamy swoje strefy komfortu gdzie nikt nas nie pyta o nasze samopoczucie, nie zarzucają nas pytaniami typu co zjesz na obiad na które nie mamy najmniejszej siły odpowiedzieć. Po czasie przychodzi moment w którym wstajesz z łóżka i chcesz wszystko zmienić. Odstawiamy używki, ćwiczymy, myślimy, że to wzbudzi w nas chociaż trochę endorfin i wyjdziemy z tego. Mamy ochotę wyjść ze znajomymi, ale jest nam wstyd za to, że był etap izolacji. Więc wracamy tam gdzie bezpiecznie. Albo próbujemy umrzeć albo tli się jeszcze w nas nadzieja szukamy pomocy u specjalistów lub zawoza nas siła (tak jak w moim przypadku). Dostajesz leki. Masz napady lękowe wszyscy widzą w tobie cpuna, to siedzi w naszych głowach kiedy wychodzimy na ulicę. Kiedy idziemy do sklepu boimi się spojrzeń w głowie mamy myśl : oni wiedzą jak słaba jesteś. Zremy te gowno, udajemy szczęście, leki nas pobudzają, ale nadal chcemy sobie zrobić krzywdę, nadal chcemy umrzeć. Przeraża nas szczęście, może dlatego, że mamy świadomość w jak łatwy sposób to wszystko stracimy.

 

Przestałam udawać, zakładać maskę i grać szczęście. Poddalam się. Chciałam przestać cierpieć. Nie miałam siły, aby żyć.

 

 

 

Nie chcę odwiedzin, chyba, że masz dla mnie lek na receptę

Biorę te, które mam, ale zdają się lecieć w próżnię

Ile trzeba tego zeżreć, żeby nie chcieć umrzeć?

 

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa

Kolejne szczyty zdobyte:)

Wpis skasujbil3trazydwa

Droga bez powrotu.