broken

Today is the day - the day that eight years ago ruined my whole life. My world fell apart. I've lost you, and there was nothing I could do to bring you back. I remember, when I thought of you after you left, I always cried so hard when I was realizing that you'll never hold me in your arms again. It was the worst thing that any child could ever imagine. To love your parent, your closest family and then one day lose them, just for nothing. Just for some stupid issues, just for some broken heart. There's a song, only our song. Since you left me, it's a song that's making me feel so guilty and sad every single time I listen to it. Really, I feel so bad that I couldn't do anything... I feel so awful and I spend all my life thinking, what would it be like if you would be here again? I wish I was a better doughter. That's so fucking hard, living here without you, dad.

If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
since you've been away.