Goodbye my... dear

When I'm finally gone and when all our memories will be defeated by the time you'll spend on Earth without me, I hope you won't forget about my egsistance and presence in your life. Sometimes I think about all the things that made you came closer to me. How stupid were you while thinking it will be just the thing you want with no consequences? How stupid was I, how naive and how immature when I fall for you. I always thought that love will be the thing that embraces all the best of me and the second person, which I thought was you. I thought that it will be enough to fight all the sadness and misery between our lives. Now, when I lost you (exactly realised I couldn't lost something that was never mine), I think it was the most hurting months I've ever had. Tonight, when New Year's Eve came and when I have to do my list of resolutions I thought to wish that in new 2013 I will be smart enough to let go of this love that you never shared. There was plenty of time when my thoughts about you were really positive and I believed that we can make it somehow. Now I know, that we can never do it. It's like memorising of that day in the past when we made a pact that we could never ever be together in real meaning of this words. In fact, that pact was just another thing made of nothing in my imagination. I just wanted so hard to think that we're not together, because it doesn't fit - I always deceived myself that we just can't be. Because of people, of life, of my defects or that we couldn't be if I won't wait long enough. The truth is that you always knew about it, you knew I'll wait till' you're ready. But you're not, never be. You'll never be ready for me, or maybe, for us. So, to prove that I'm not delusional in this one I'm making a promise: to you, to myself and to all the world around. I won't be trapped in your cage filled with fake delusion of happiness you could give me; never again. Happy New Year, darling. Let all your dreams come true and the world make you happy... without me.