im lonely, so lonely i ended up locking myself for over a year barely speaking to more than 10 people. life changed. just because you have got a baby everyone expect you to act like an 30 year old woman, noone wants to listen to how you feel, noone wants to talk to you about just you, everyone thinks having a baby will make you the happiest person alive, and its true dont get me wrong, but sometimes you just need a friend to text you and say ' i know its hard, but you doing amazing ' and it never happens. your so called friends just forget about you because you created a life and they feel like they not important anymore. well, they more important than anyone because they there. i cant even say ive got friends. since becoming a mum i can count on my fingers the aount of times my so called friends came to visit me and my bubba. not a good feeling. your parents wont even be there for you. because they expect you to be this grown up straight away even withour realising that this time you will need their help more than anything. its not about money, toys or material things. its about being there for someone,  morral support its what its called. just being for someone who needs ya. i dont even read my messages, or reply to them cos im so not used to talking to people i feel like i cant talk to them. i feel like i let everyone down and now i cant rebuild these relationships. i made so many mistakes, but who doesnt. i just need a friend. someone who is willing to be there for me without me asking. just a friend, thats all i want. 

moj kochany lobuz :-)