It's not your fault that people have make you the monster, and not your fault that you could not tell what you feel you can not blame each other if you lived all his life in this way. How can you learn to give love, since its practically not received. If you do not believe in someone, how is this person believe in you? I was not always this bad, once I really was someone who saw everything and felt, I just came across people who have taken all this from me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qz36R-XtK0