You know what's weird? I miss those days when I felt emotions. I sometimes feel happy, or mad, or sad, but usually it's to very shallow dreams, but what I missed is being depressed. Don't take this the wrong way, I don't want to self pity or hate my life, I wanna feel super depressed, to where I can just cry as loud as I want and as much as I want because it's so soul cleansing. It clears all of your problems and makes you feel so much better in the end. And all haters of my awesome stoner ideas are just cluttered with anger, emotionally surrendering, desiding that life is better feeling normal every day than sad every day? Sadness is not just for those who are suicidal, and for those who are self pitying. That's an unpleasant sad, but there's also the soul clensing satisfying sad that you enjoy every minute ago, the sad when you find out your dead loved one is back and you can't smile yet because you're becoming a good sad remembering how much you missed them. It's like from Mother 3, when Lucas sees his mother in the field, and at first thinks it's her, and feels a good sadness inside. He cries, but not with defeat, but with motivation that the future will feel amazing. He gets into that mood, that nirvana that everyone wants to feel, and it's why your days don't feel as fulfilling

as they used to