ca

Can you feel homesick looking at places you've never been in? Can you feel that weird urge of coming ( back? ) there? Can you feel that your body dismantles into cells and flies away? That mental teleportation having place, making you  feel so dizzy, disoriented and dissapointed. It feels so obvious, so clear like nothing else before. Is it destiny or a whim of mine, imagination or that inner voice that's surprisingly right yet so hard to hear? Now it speaks clear to me with images and words, injects the new portion of glitter into my blood, makes me shine, makes me glow in the dark, makes me cry with microscopic diamonds. It's so exhausting this never fullfilled hunger, growing and growing inside, taking away my thoughts, my sleep, my sane. Drives me crazy, drives me so far into my brain all I see it's darknes, the unknown littered with obstacles of every form, shape and kind. Yet I feel so certain I feel so sure, I have it before my eyes: it's so idealy imperfect, it fits like puzzels, like the mechanism that would never stop working. I just want to click, I want to see that sparkle in your eyes and hear that laugh, I want it to be a bomb, complete craziness, uncontrolable madness, fireworks. I imagne everything so many times. Since the very beginning with the peachy sun-coming-down light reflected in the hangar's huge windows, till the sun in your hair, right after you wake up, rubbing your blue eyes, having that rugged voice, smiling. It seems so unbelivably real, like it was just there, right around the corner, waiting, pulsing, calling my name. I guess we are somewhere there you and I, in another dimension, it's just time right? What if it is just like in those sci-fi movies, the fourth one, and it's just a matter of perception and perspective. I'm immune to limits, I know it's coming I can see further. I'm just affraid of how much time I have to wait and how many bad things will happen to you and me before we make it all an eternal peace. I just want to break all logical boundries, I hope I'm good enough to get out of here, to catch the happiness on the other side of the world, in the California sun rays.