kurwa no

Wyglądam szczęśliwie, co nie? Ale kuźwa, daleko mi od bycia szczęśliwym. Coraz gorzej. Tęsknie za Jasonem. Tęsknie za Austiem.

Może jakieś video dam tu? Nie wiem, i tak by nikt nie oglądał.

I may look happy, but I can promise you, I'm far from it. I want to cut or burn. I want it, now. I miss Jason. I miss Austin. Idk weekend was weird. Everyone was weird about Anna, Lisa and Kallum having a threesome, idk why. I seen Nathan and Christianna holding hands, it was cute. He deserves to be happy and I hope he will be. Maybe one day, he and I will happen. Idk, no, i'm just messing. I remember Anna and Lisa said they see it coming at one point. Idk, we don't have that much in common apart from views on things, relationships, people and feelings, unless i don't know him well enough yet. OH, rory asked me to go to the cinema with him. I want to go, but I know he will try something. Apparently he's really pushy too so I'd be scared. He's 17, so it's not bad at all. But I wouldn't want to do anything I don't want to do. Ugh but Richard, he's so gorgeous. Fuck knows what age he is, he's probably like 18 or 19 or 20, if not older. But he's gorgeous. He looks like the type of guy to fuck people about and hurt them. Ah well. I've been hurt enough, so that wouldn't make much difference. I'd love to get to know him more but he lives quite far away. To be honest, I don't want anything to do with anyone. I just want to be fucking happy. I want Austin back as a friend. I want things the way they used to be: I want our old frienship group back. I want Rachel and Lisa to be friends again. I want everythin back the way it was. But I know that isn't going to happy. AH WELL, I WANT TO GET REALLY DRUNK AND PASS OUT AND NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE