Dear L.

I don't regret nothing that was connected with us. I don't regret any second with you, i don't regret touch, i don't regret hours in hostel, last night. I think it was all wonderful and i loved this feeling. I regret only that i let myself to feel more. Only this.

If i should be honest, i thought that we will have only this 5 days, this touch, this bitter fruit. No love, no life, no history, just touch, just chemistry. And i wanted to stay like this. I remember when you fall with me on the bed and said me you are all i need. It meant nothing to me. I was only like, yeah, okay, 'cause i was sceptic and knew it will not last.

But you were so sure. we will meet again, i promise, its not the end.

Yeah, sure again.

And day after day you've been giving me the reasons to believe, that it's not only 5 days of touch, that it's not only holidays adventure, so carefully i started to let this feeling grow. I didin't want to believe all these words. But i believed. And i regret it.

It's just so bitter when we create in our heads screenplays in which we see what we will do together. That we miss so much, but we're waiting, cause we wait for this things to make them happen. And this keeps us in this, even if separation hurts. We believe, that the hurt will have end. It's beautiful and bitter. But now this hurt doesn't have a chance to be killed.

It's like the painkillers don't exist. Cause all this beautiful screenplays died.

You gave me hope. And now is taken.

Thank you for all the beautiful moments. Thank you for proving me, that joking and talking so much in english is possible. Thank you for every smile that appeared on my face. Thank you for laughing. For every night on skype and early mornings to say goodnight.

Thank you for letting me to feel important and loved.

We've created memories, we've filled this five months with us, shared a part of life. This will be forever special and never i will forget.

It will only stop to hurt, and i will stop to feel.

Thanks,

Love you.

.

repeatingyesterday