Ill never ever be the same. Fucking never. How could you have done it? Why would you fuck me up in the worst possible way? Im a fucking rock solid iceberg and I just cant understand, I cant forgive you. Ive moved on, I really let go but youre the reason Im terrified of ever feeling again. Youre the reason I cant picture ever being happy again.
After all I did for you, after I cut my heart open for you, I got the biggest punch in the face, bigger than I ever imagined.
And not one but million punches. Fucking million.
All of your bullshit made me doubt everything I ever believed in. I wish I could make you disappear from my memory forever. Forget all the abuse and live normally. But then no because I fucking loved you. More than anything. And thats not something one should forget, especially not this kind of love. And I know you remember it very well too. Its the reason youre still here, on this blog, every now and then.
So youll read this and hopefully understand what youve done. Although Im scared there isnt much left in your brain.
But there was always a part of you, hidden somewhere that understood me very well.
Im just so sick of everything. I really am. And I needed to say this. No matter what youll think, no matter how annoyed it makes me feel.